Late 1980s and 1990s – At this point in my life as a young parent I was becoming paranoid when I smoked pot, feeling that I was failing my kids and my life. In my mind I was being irresponsible and self indulgent. I was worried about my kids, and even though I had never put them in any danger in any way, shape or form with marijuana use, I was brainwashed into thinking that smoking weed was not ok anymore and people who still did it on a regular basis were stoners, potheads and unmotivated under-achievers. As it tuned out I was the idiot, because I knew better.
I’ve obtained and held great jobs. I had volunteered with the Girl Scouts for 10 years, volunteered with our local Nature Center and served on its board of directors, volunteered for other local non-profits and served on other BODs, all while working full time and running a household with my husband. I got the kids off to school each morning, cooked healthy dinner every night, read to my kids, did art projects, took day trips, went camping, went sailing, went to church, attended all school functions, but still it was always in the back of my mind that I was living underground, off the radar, a rogue, a future fugitive, a nonconforming parent. All this guilt, and I didn’t even grow up with the horrible onslaught of propaganda that my kids had to deal with. (No, what they were taught in their DARE classes was far worse, as they were encourage to turn their parents in, for their own good, and we’ll talk about that later on in the “Cops” section.)
Back to the story. OK, now my kids could actually turn me in. They didn’t witness us smoking pot in front of them, but they weren’t stupid either. As they got older we talked with the kids about pot, what it really was and how some lawmakers were obsessed about it for no good reason. We explained that like drinking alcohol, it was something that some adults enjoyed and it helped them relax. Our kids either understood, (or figured they didn’t want us to go to jail). They never witnessed us out of control or in a pot crazed stupor because it never happened, and kids are not only perceptive but also totally able to reason things out. I was still worried, but was also not wanting to give up completely this totally natural herb thing that helped me relax and unwind, so I started smoking only at night before bed. It helped me sleep despite the stress of raising pre-teens in a very dangerous world. How can that be bad? (Ah, the sane part of my brain was still with me, albeit barely!) And then, after one of my kids got in trouble, (repeatedly, and not with pot), was being drug tested and our lives were being scrutinized, I dropped all marijuana use all together. It was around 1997 when the government of the United States won the war on pot that was going on in my mind.